From the monthly archives:

May 2010

Italian Stallion?

by ranpen on May 25, 2010

Italian tutoring

I am an ——- native offering Italian tutoring this summer in the afternoon, evenings, and weekends. I studied Italian intensively at Georgetown University in Washington, DC (2003-2007) and after graduating got a job in Turin, Italy. I am fluent in Italian and can offer grammar lessons and/or discussion. Please email me if you are interested.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 9:47 AM
To: res——–@craigslist.org

Bonjourno!
I am dying to learn Italian, and was hoping you might be able to help.  Currently, I only know 3 Italian words:
prego
ciao
prosciutto

Looking forward to hearing back from you.  Arrivederci!

Thanks,
RP

From: Michelle ——
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 11:00 PM
To: Randy Penny

Ciao Randy!

I am so glad you want to learn Italian! How many hours a week were you thinking? Around what streets do you live near? I live out west off of —— but I work every morning more towards —-. I usually charge $30/hour for lessons. We could bring that down depending on how many hours a week you want to do. Please let me know what you think.

Best regards

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 5/25/10 9:38AM
To: Michelle —–

Ciao Michelle Bella!
It’s my intention to quit my job in pest control and learn Italian full-time.  Many of my peers refer to me as the “Italian Stallion” and I feel as though I don’t adequately live up to the designation. I believe that becoming fluent in the language is the first step to changing this, and significantly improving my life.  The 45+ hours a week that I typically spend working, I would like to solely devote to learning Italian.  Does this sound reasonable?  Once I feel that I’ve got a good grasp on the language, especially in a conversational setting, I’d like to become skilled in Italian cooking.  Do you know any good recipes?  I recently attempted to make a meatball (or should I say, “meat-a ball-a”), but the results were less than appealing.  I really like meatballs.  Do you?  Do you need any more information from me?  Hope to hear back from you soon, and I can’t wait to get started!

Thanks,
RP

From: Michelle ——
Sent: Tue 5/25/10 9:50 AM
To: Randy Penny

Randy,
I am only available 2/hrs a week. I can suggest some recipes you could look up on Google – meatballs are actually American, Italians don’t really eat them. My boyfriend is a great cook, so I can ask him for some suggestions. When do you want to start? We could meet in a Borders or Starbucks.

Michelle

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Tue 5/25/10 10:09AM
To: Michelle —–

Michelle,
Quite frankly, if meatballs are American, then that changes everything.  Do you teach Russian? Or Mexican?

Thanks,
RP

{ 2 comments }

The Force is Strong….

by ranpen on May 24, 2010

Anakin light saber – $75

I have 1 awesome light saber. This is the real deal not a TOY saber. Lights, Sounds, the whole package.  PLEASE REMEMBER THESE ARE NOT TOYS
Anakin light saber : $ $75 dollars BLUE light saber. Everything works!

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 10:04 AM
To: sale——–@craigslist.org

Greetings!
WOW!  I would love to get my hands on your light saber!  Is it still available, or has someone else already proved worthy of becoming its owner?

Thanks,
RP

From: Joy ——
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 12:22 PM
To: Randy Penny

Yoda states that you are the only person worthly should you choose to provide the cash. Call me, Joy ———-

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 1:46 PM
To: Joy ——-

Joy, (A perfect name for you)
I don’t think you truly understand the potential significance of this transaction.  Since early Spring, I have been on a faithful mission to Endor.  And, I will not…I repeat….I will NOT surrender to the imperial storm troopers.   I’ve fully completed my Jedi training, and though I am not yet a master, I have two apprentices under my tutelage.   However, I have had to temporarily abort my mission, as my arsenal remains incomplete…….until now.  It is you, Joy, who can help fulfill my destiny.  Clearly, you are the chosen one, the only denizen that can bestow upon me the coveted, albeit deadly, blue blade light saber.  As you said, this is not a toy.  When might I come claim this extraordinary and sacred gift?  A letter back from you will be greatly cherished.

Thanks,
RP

From: Joy ——
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 2:50 PM
To: Randy Penny

You have trained well and now is your time to fulfill that long and waited for destiny. Come tonight after 5 with cash to fulfill your quest as a Jedi. ——— may the force be with you!

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 3:17PM
To: Joy ——-

Joy,
It is vital that you leave the light saber in an accessible yet highly inconspicuous location.  I’ll need to obtain the saber in the middle of night. And, I’ll need to do it stealthily to avoid being seen by enemy forces.  In place of the light saber,  I will leave your just reward.  Also, Joy, please keep in mind that, in the morning, if the light saber remains where you left it, then I was spotted.  In which case, I will return for it under circumstances more conducive to my mission.  I am truly grateful for your support.

Thanks,
RP

From: Joy ——
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 5:21 PM
To: Randy Penny

hmm…i’m not sure what you mean..are you coming tonight because i have 2 other people wanting to come tonight as well

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 5/24/10 8:04 PM
To: Joy ——

I can only come after nightfall,  when the force is at its strongest.    And,  I’m certain that these  “2 other people” are unworthy of your saber, and the power that it beholds.

Thanks,
RP

{ 3 comments }

Fat Chance

May 17, 2010 0 comments

KIDS LOFT/BUNK BEDS SET Loft bed set with one upper and one lower twin size bed. Features 5 drawer chest, 2 shelf bookcase and great desk for homework! Great condition. As an added plus, the lower bed is on wheels and is easily moved. Comes from non-smoking, non-pet home. From: Randy Penny Sent: Mon 5/17/10 [...]

Feelin’ Randy

May 6, 2010 1 comment

Are there any female models, dancers, strippers, or escorts that would like to have their own website? I am looking to trade my computer programming skills for some of your services. From: Randy Penny Sent: Thu 5/6/10 1:46PM To: gigs——–@craigslist.org Hello there, I am a model in desperate need of a website. Unfortunately, they are [...]

Village Idiot

May 6, 2010 0 comments

Smurf box – $25 Vanity Fair Smurf Box. Good condition. From: Randy Penny Sent: Wed 5/5/10 10:00AM To: sale——–@craigslist.org Hi there! Your Smurf Box is really neat.  Is it still available? Thanks, RP From: Scott ——- Sent: Wed 5/5/10 10:08AM To: Randy Penny yes From: Randy Penny Sent: Wed 5/5/10 4:05PM To: Scott ——- Hello [...]