From the monthly archives:

February 2011

Jokers Wild

by ranpen on February 17, 2011

Young Woman Seeks Casino Buddy

Hi I’m a young woman on the side east side who loves frequenting the casinos. However I’m not mobile and it’s both time consuming and a hassle to catch the shuttles. So I’m looking for a mobile casino buddy for occasional trips to the casino to drink, eat and gamble. I prefer the ones out in NWI because I’m only 15-25 minutes away from them. But I wouldn’t mind going to other casinos that you like, so long as you can provide the transportation. I’m looking for someone under 30. I don’t care about race, gender or looks because I’m looking for strictly platonic friendships with fellow casino enthusiasts. So if you are mobile and like hitting the “boat” let me know.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 2/14/11 1033 AM
To: comm.———-@craigslist.org

Hello,
Are you still looking for a casino buddy?   I think I might be able to help you out.   Let me know your thoughts.

Thanks,
RP

From: gambling——@yahoo.com
Sent: Tue 2/15/11 747 PM
To: Randy Penny

Yeah I still wanna hit the boat sometime this week. If you can provide the transportation it’s no problem picking me up along the way, because I stay just 15 minutes from the boat. I’d need at least $100 for starting bankroll. If I win I’ll of course pay it back with extra right there at the casino. If I lose I’ll owe you the money on pay day this upcoming week. Either way paying the money back is all I’ll do in return for receiving it. I won’t do anything any appropriate for the bankroll.

So if you have the transportation and bankroll and want to hit the boat let me know and we can make plans to go.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Wed 2/15/11 853 AM
To: gambling——@yahoo.com

Hello,
I suppose I can provide the transportation.   Do you lack your own transportation?   I didn’t realize that I was obligated to provide you with money as well.   Do you lack your own money?  I was under the impression that you were simply looking for a buddy to keep you company at the casino.   I would be happy to loan you $100 if it’s completely necessary.  You said that you won’t do anything appropriate for the bankroll,  and that’s fine.  I won’t ask you to do anything appropriate.    In return for the money and transportation,  I need to know that you’ll at least be pleasant company.  Do you know any good stories or jokes?   What day would you prefer to go to the boat?  And, what games do you like to play?

Thanks,
RP

From: gambling——@yahoo.com
Sent: Wed 2/16/11 548 PM
To: Randy Penny

Hi again Randy,

Thanks for being cool about providing the ride and betting cash for the casino. As far as transportation goes I can get to the casino on my own on the shuttle. But as I mentioned in my ad the reason why I was looking for a mobile casino buddy is because I don’t like taking the shuttles because their pick up location is backwards out of my way. I do have my own money to gamble with around payday and will of course return the bankroll favor on our next casino trip. And as I said I will pay back the $100 either at the casino with extra if I win or just one payday if lose.

Anyway. Yes I do know really cool jokes and riddles to play on the way to the casino and a millions funny stories about wins an losses at the casino that will will keep you entertained at the boat. I’d like to go any time this week, including tomorrow night. Just let me know and we can exchange numbers and pics and talk and make plans to go.

I’m so excited!

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 2/17/11 833 AM
To: gambling——@yahoo.com

Hello,
Can you provide me with an example of a joke or riddle you might tell me on the way the casino?  That would be most helpful.

Thanks,
RP

From: gambling——@yahoo.com
Sent: Thu 2/17/11 1124AM
To: Randy Penny

Ok here’s one about a A Doctor:
A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.”We need a fourth for poker,” said the friend. “I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor. As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, “Is it serious?” “Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor gravely. “In fact, there are three doctors there already!”

Here is another about a bum:
A bum asks a man for $2. The man says, “Will you buy booze?” The bum says, “No.” The man says, “Will you gamble it away?” The bum says, “No.” So the man says, “Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn’t drink or gamble”

I know a million of those silly jokes. Also we can grab dinner if my card has a comp for it. I just want to go to the casino and hang out and have fun gaming.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Thu 1/17/11 212 PM
To: gambling——@yahoo.com

Hello,
I truly appreciate you providing me with not one, but two examples.  Unfortunately,  neither joke had the effect I was hoping for.    I chuckled slightly at the second, primarily because I find interactions between productive citizens and the homeless an amusing part of life to which we can all relate.   Though, ultimately, the man seems to be encouraging both drinking and gambling.    The first joke has a lackluster punchline, and failed to provide the belly laughs I was expecting you to deliver.    I don’t possibly see how we can have fun gaming together,  when you’re telling jokes of this caliber.    You do, however, seem like a tremendously nice lady.  So, I definitely won’t hold your virtually non-existent sense of humor against you.   And, luckily, I love riddles!  If you can offer me a brain-teaser,  then I’ll consider taking you to the casino tomorrow night.   What kinds of games do you like to play?  And, if we were to get dinner,  would you be willing to order appetizers?   Looking forward to hearing back from you!

Thanks,
RP

From: gambling——@yahoo.com
Sent: Thu 2/17/11 1048 AM
To: Randy Penny

Wow tough Crowd Lol.

Ok here is a riddle:

Four men were at a casino black jack table, the dealer hit 21 and all four men had less than 21 in their hand, yet not a single man lost. How? (After guessing see below for the answer).

Anyway. I am hoping to be able to get food off of my rewards card, however I’m not sure if I have free meals comped to me, but I can check at the casino rewards kiosk. So it’s not a garantee that I’ll be able to get food off the card. But If I can get food via a comp or winning and being able to pay for it with cash. If so yes I can get apitizers or we can just hit the buffet.

None were single…they were all married.  LOL!!
From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 1/14/11 1033 AM
To: gambling——@yahoo.com

Hello,
Please obtain my response below.

I’m sorry. But I don’t think this is going to work out.  Good luck!!
Thanks,
RP

{ 4 comments }

Cookie Monster

by ranpen on February 14, 2011

Buy COUCH and I will make HOMEMADE COOKIES for you!!!

Nice couch for sale. Need to sell, making room for a baby! Hardly ever sat on, it was in my art room and I never used it. The cats liked laying on it but all the hair has been cleaned off. From a clean, smoke free, pet loving household.
Priced for quick sale! AND best of all, I will make a delicious homemade batch of cookies to the lucky buyer. You choose the flavor! I’m an excellent baker.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 1/31/11 1033 AM
To: sale.———-@craigslist.org

Hello,
Are you still selling this couch?

Thanks,
RP

From: Corinne
Sent: Mon 1/31/11 1048 AM
To: Randy Penny

Hi,
Someone is supposed to be coming to get it tomorrow but if they fall through I will let you know.
Thanks!

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 1/31/11 1055 AM
To: Corinne

Hello,
Are you going to make them cookies?   Perhaps I could stop by around the same time,  and try a cookie.    When are they supposed to be picking up the couch?

Thanks,
RP

From: Corinne
Sent: Mon 1/31/11 1146 AM
To: Randy Penny

Ha ha, I knew those cookies would catch some attention. I don’t think she wants any cookies though. She is supposed to let me know tonight when she will be by but if she doesn’t seem like she is going to follow through I will let you know. I will let you know either way. And if you really want cookies I could probably make some for you.

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Mon 1/31/11 1234 PM
To: Corinne

Hi,
That would be great!  What kind of cookies?  I do like Chocolate Chip and Snickerdoodle.   Please, though, nothing with macadamia nuts.   I’m highly allergic.  If I were to stop over and taste a cookie with macadamia nuts,  there’s a good chance I would go into anaphylactic shock.  Also, Oatmeal Raisin cookies give me diarrhea.  When should I stop by?

Thanks,
RP


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