08 Apr Funny Farm

Great old barn and plastic animals – $10

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Sat 4/3/10 12:43 AM
To: sale———–@craigslist.org

Howdy,

Are you still selling the barn and animals?  I can tell by the picture that this is exactly what I need.  I’ve been constructing a model farm in my basement for the past several weeks.  But, I don’t have a barn or animals.  Right now, it’s basically just a patch of grass surrounded by a fence that I built meticulously from Lincoln Logs.  I’m using some of my wife’s old hair curlers for barrels of hay, and I painted some cotton balls light brown to look like tumbleweeds.  I bought some chocolate chips that I’m using for animal droppings,  but as you know, I’ve got no animals.  My model farm is empty. Whenever I look at it,  I can’t help but laugh, and then tear up a bit.   Between the hair curlers and chocolate chips,  it looks like I once had animals, but something scared them, so they pooped all over and ran away.   Also, when I see a farm without livestock,  I can’t help but think of the economic recession.  Anyway, should I just stop by and get the barn and animals, or do you deliver them?  Looking forward to livening up my farm!

Thanks,
RP

From: Darby
Sent: Tue 4/6/10 1:36 PM
To: Randy Penny

still available!

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Wed 4/7/10 2:02 AM
To: Darby

Hey there Darby,

I need to know specifically what kind of animals you have.  I can’t raise dogs or chickens on my model farm because I am severely allergic.  Whenever I’m near chickens, I instantaneously begin sneezing and wheezing, then go into anaphylactic shock.  Typically, I writhe around on the ground and gasp for air until a bystander injects epinephrine into my posterior.  Also, let me know the best time for me to stop by.  I’ll need to rent a livestock trailer.

Thanks,
RP

From: Darby
Sent: Wed 4/7/10 7:49 PM
To: Randy Penny

Dear Randy-

Clearly, this was meant to be.  The chickens were choked long ago, and at some point in the barn’s history, someone let the dogs out.  You may have heard the song relaying our dismay?  It received some airplay years back.

Your enthusastic embrace of our proud hobby is evidenced by the pain you endure to enjoy it.  Fortunately, we have not had any episodes like the one you describe while owning this barn.  However, I probably should make you aware that we suspct two of the pigs, going by “Snowball” and “Napoleon,” may be leftist guerillas.  We caught them preaching to the other animals (none of which are chickens or dogs, by the way), that “whatever walks on two legs is the enemy.”  Well, suffice it to say it prompted a Craig’s List posting right quick.  Take posession at your own risk, and perhaps consider stockng up on epinephrine before you make the trip.

Cordially-

Farmer Darby

From: Randy Penny
Sent: Fri 4/9/10 4:37 PM
To: Darby

Darby,

I’m not sure what you mean.

Thanks,
RP